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jetrocketskates:

"Friendzoned again!" I shout, pumping my fist in the air. I made a new friend today. Today is a good day.

soufflesandbowties:

50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

kumagawa:

this is the strongest vine I ever seen

trial-of-miles:

geometricdeathtrap:

so long space cowboy

I’m 95% sure that squirrel is dead

YOU CAN SE THE HAND CUT THE STRING

scissor:

when u make a joke and the whole class laughs

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